Are you considered as an unsocial person? Because you find it difficult to talk to people other than family and friends? Do you become nervous when you are about to ask your teacher a question? Or make new friends and connections? This often happens because of lack of confidence and self esteem. You are afraid to ask questions to the teacher because you think you may sound silly or stupid. You are nervous when you are talking to a new classmate because you are afraid that he/she may not like you. But that is not how you are supposed to think. You have to acknowledge the fact that no one is perfect and everyone lacks something.
Everyone tries to boost up their talents and abilities. And this tendency is much more common among the teenagers. That is because this is the age when they start to discover themselves. And it is an undeniable fact that everyone wants others to know how good he/she is.
That is why, when you see one of your friends has won inter-school championship in chess where you cannot last two minutes in a chess match, you start to feel inferior. That causes a serious damage to your self-confidence. If this continues for a while, you start to isolate yourself from everyone and eventually, it becomes difficult for you to communicate with the people around you.
But a simple change in your perspective can turn the table. When you see your friend win chess competitions, you should not think that you are good for nothing. Rather you should find out what you are good at. You may not be good at chess but maybe you are good at numbers because you think numbers are mysteries that can create histories! And if you start working hard on what you are good at, maybe you can beat your friend and win a national level championship!
When you know about your abilities, you become more confident about yourself. And that helps you make better approaches to others. It becomes easier for you to communicate with people and make better as well as new connections.
Besides this, there are some other facts that raises your level of self-confidence. For example, a bit of work out everyday. Sounds weird? But it really works. You don’t have to go to gym for this. Going for a run in the early morning, doing simple work out is enough.
Have you ever realized how your outfits affect your behavior? Yes, it matters a lot. If you dress nicely according to the places you are going or the programs you are attending, you will feel comfortable and it will be easy for you to communicate with others. A quick shave or slight make up helps too.
If you want to be liked by the others, you may work on changing the bad habits of yours and make some new ones that are good. This cannot be done overnight. Start with one habit at a time. Research shows that it takes almost three weeks to make a new habit and change one. So start working on it if you want to find ‘the better you’. And it will be easier than it sounds once you start it.
The fact that matters most is ‘perspective’. You whole life can change when you change your perspective and your way of thinking. For example, things seem complicated when you focus on the problem. But if you rather focus on the solution, it will seem easier and you will be more confident about solving it. Smile to yourself, praise yourself for your accomplishments and good deeds. And when you fail, tell yourself that you can do it if you try a bit harder. Start to acknowledge that everyone has flaws and lackings. It’s only natural. Accept the fact that you may not be the best, but you are better than many other and there is always time to improve yourself. So love yourself, be confident and go for the things that you want to achieve!
Writer : Saraf Tasnim